Summer Accountability Experiment… continued
“Nobody can do it for you.”
…though sometimes I wish that they would. We all have tasks we’d rather not do, it’s true. If you’re like me you’ll procrastinate the doing in hopes of gaining more energy or enthusiasm for the task, but in the end that just amounts to wasted time. Let’s face it; unless you’ve got unlimited resources and have servants and staff at your beck and call, you’ve always got something that needs doing in your business or life. Eventually delay leads to necessary action so why not get to it before the eleventh hour? Nobody can do it for you. Do it for you.
If Your Life Sucks It’s Your Fault. Oooo that’s not nice of me to say, and yet if you meet me in person you’ll observe I’m anything but nasty, and in your face.
As a motivational speaker, personal trainer, life coach, and everyday optimist I genuinely care about helping people push past barriers and reach new heights in their health, happiness, and success. I’ll admit I have been feeling frustrated lately though. We’re a nation in a lifestyle crisis battling poor health, low energy, and lack of fitness. We’re out of control with diseases of lifestyle, living with high levels of stress, and resigning ourselves to low levels of happiness. You tell me you want more energy, better health, and less stress but in the fallout from long hours and busy schedules action is replaced by complaints of no time, energy, or motivation to create the change so desperately desired. Smart enough to care, but too busy to do anything about it. If any part of this description sounds like you I have one question for you. What are you going to do about it?
Sometimes the barriers seem too big to get past but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Over the years I’ve posed the question to myself time and again over challenges I’m having in my business and life. “What are you going to do about it?” I rarely like the answer. “You can sit there and feel sorry for yourself or you can do something. Anything.” I write this blog entry then, not as an all-knowing, super-expert, brilliant perfectionist who has it all together but from personal (sometimes painful) experience gleaned through a high and low “life sucking” journey that began for me as an early adult and culminated in clarity and higher levels of happiness the year I turned 40. At many points between then and now my life SUCKED … or at least I thought it did.
I’ve battled low self-esteem, weight gain, cigarettes, failed relationships, so many failed relationships, discontent with my work, discontent with my health, disbelief at my low bank account, and disbelief in myself.
I’ve struggled through trying friendships, crippling co-dependency, people pleasing, fear of failure, and fear of success.
I’ve almost quit, never started, and sat down and cried more times than I can count.
Through it all I wondered “When is it all going to stop being so. much. work?“
I probably hit my low point in the fall of 2001. I was 32 years old, single, working at a job that didn’t pay me what I was worth, I was a personal trainer who had gained weight, I was stressed out, type A, hard to be around. I was probably depressed and I was most certainly unhappy. When my latest relationship with another mediocre mismatch came to a crashing halt I wrote myself a big old reality check. “This can’t keep happening.” I had to get to the root of my discontent and low self-esteem. On the outside I ‘had it all together’ but on the inside I was questioning everything. In my mind I was a huge fraud. I was an unmotivated motivational speaker. I was an unhealthy health expert. I was a life balance strategist who had no life balance. I couldn’t do anything right. No wonder my life sucked! I figured I could keep repeating the same patterns and continue suffering or I could get help. I started to see a counselor.
Through several sessions I spilled my guts to her. “Why does this keep happening to me? I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m fit and attractive, I’m fun loving, easy going, financially stable, I’m hard working … blah, blah, blah …”
In my mind, if I was all those things then the world around me was at fault for not recognizing my worth and making me successful and happy. In truth, I had been qualifying myself with these descriptors for years but deep down I didn’t believe any of it was true. I had to get to the core of why I didn’t value myself at a high enough level to push through the fog and chase the silver lining, and until I did my life would continue to suck.
Change began for me in small steps and was preceded by the very humble realization that I am, was, and will always be the common denominator in every aspect of my life that sucks. That was hard for me to admit. If something was wrong with my life I needed to take control and create change. If I hated my job I needed to fix it or walk away. If I was dissatisfied with my health I needed to quick drinking so much beer, stop eating chicken wings, and get back to working out. If I was striking out with relationships I needed to learn to love myself better first. Nobody could do it for me. I could avoid personal responsibility and keep blaming other people, tough circumstances, or the environment, for my misery but that wasn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have the time, energy, or motivation to do any of that work my only choice was to stop complaining about how much my life sucked and suffer in silence. I didn’t like that alternative.
I’m not sure why it took me so long to flip the switch, but I guess when you’ve run into enough obstacles you quit stumbling around in the dark and begin fumbling for the light switch. Mine was a simple perspective switch. If I was the common denominator in every aspect of my life that sucked couldn’t I re-frame and instead be the common denominator in the development of a happy, abundant, successful life? Sounds good to me…
Yeah so you’re …
Single and unhappy
Married and unhappy
Hate your job
Out of shape
No time to exercise
No time for anything
Husband is lazy
Hate your wife
Hate your life
Stuck in a rut
Have no education
Boyfriend is a jerk
Girlfriend is crazy
Choices are limited
What are you going to do about it?
If you want change, start by changing your attitude. Nobody can do it for you.
It sure is simple but it’s certainly not easy. Let’s work on that together.
This week I want you hear from you. Send me an email telling me what you want to improve in your life. Tell me why that goal is so important to you, what’s getting in the way, and what it might take to kick into action. I’ll email you back.
Reduced rate coaching
Want some more help?
Ask me about one-on-one Skype or phone coaching to set your plan and get it in motion.
Summer Support Crew
Strength in numbers!
Success increases with accountability, and who better to keep you on task than your own friends. This summer I’m challenging you to create your own ‘to do’ support crew with people around you who have the similar goals. I’ll help you on your way by hosting a private webinar for you and your friends on the topic of your choosing, and follow up with each of you for a one-on-one half hour coaching session. The more people you round up, the lower the per person fee. Email me to find out more!