What do you say when you talk to yourself?

I’m sure you’re aware of an inner voice that provides a running monologue in your life, day and night. This inner self-talk—a combination of your conscious thoughts and your unconscious beliefs and biases—is your brain’s way of interpreting and processing your daily experiences, and we all have one.

Self-talk can be positive and supportive or negative and defeating. Positive self-talk is the kind of messaging you give yourself throughout the day. Statements like “I can do whatever I set my mind to,” or “I’m calm and confident,” or “I got this!” will strengthen your self-assurance and guide you to work through your fears. Positive self-talk has even been linked to the reduction of stress and is good for your mental and physical well-being. So the more you can practice it, the better.

Negative self-talk is that inner dialogue that diminishes you and your ability to make positive changes in your life, and it will weaken self-confidence. Negative self-talk often doesn’t reflect our reality and can cause us to act in ways far beneath our capabilities. As thinking, processing humans, unfortunately, our self-talk is more likely to lean toward the negative, with thoughts like “I’ll never be able to do this,” or “I’ll just fail, so why bother,” or “I don’t care!”

If you don’t learn how to manage your inner critic, then every time you stretch outside that comfort zone toward better, every time you get close to achieving a goal, that voice will pipe up with fear, self-doubt, or anxiety. It will attempt to draw you back toward the comfort zone, away from the change it so detests, and away from the growth you so deserve. If you learn to manage your inner critic, the voices will still rumble every now and then, but they won’t be as loud, and you will know how to shut them down.

How to Identify your Inner Critic and Elevate Success

To stop feeding your inner critic, you must first identify it. Give it a name and even an avatar, such as the grumpy old man, the mean schoolmarm, or the hyena. This process will help you isolate your inner critic and treat it as a separate entity, like another individual you can choose to listen to or not. Consider the following, and record your answers to the questions:

First, notice when your inner critic shows up.

What triggers it? What are you doing or attempting when it comes around?

Pay attention to what it says to you.

What are its favorite sayings or stories? – Notice the stories and opinions it constantly shares with you to influence you or your decisions.

Does your inner critic’s voice sound familiar? – Describe how it sounds and what it looks like. Does it have a name?

Second, connect its words to your actions. 

How does your inner critic attempt to sabotage your actions?

Your inner critic delights in giving you bad advice:
– Don’t speak up. No one cares what you have to say
– Don’t ask for the promotion. You’ll be rejected
– Forget about relationships. You’re not all that loveable.
– Skip the gym. Who cares about your health?
– Stop working so hard on that website. Your business dream is a stupid one.

Listen for it so you can notice how it influences your behavior.

Third, change your behavior.

How might you do things differently?

Once you know how your inner critic influences your behavior, you can consciously choose to do something different, aligned with positive self-belief.

This might feel uncomfortable at first, but it can also feel empowering. Do your best to ignore your inner critic and take a small step toward whatever it’s trying to talk you out of. This will take practice and a bit of self-compassion. But the more you do it, the easier it will become to listen to your true heart and act in accordance with it. You got this!

Until next time. I’m Michelle Cederberg, reminding you we’ve got one chance to do this life. I say Dare To Live It Big and dare to let your self-talk drive your success.

P.S. this post is an excerpt from my latest book The Success-Energy Equation. Read below to find out how to get your copy and take advantage of more information like this that will decrease stress and drive success.

♥ Does your workplace need a good dose of re-energizing this summer or fall? Ask me about my half and full day Success-Energy Reset sessions (or any of my other topics, which you can download here: Michelle Cederberg SPEAKS) to help you regain focus and recharge your health and productivity in this new world of work. Contact me to chat.

♥ Buy my new book via my website and I’ll send you a signed copy!

♥ Don’t forget to sign up for my 6 Day Work-Life Reset. This is the perfect time to do it, and it’s free, so click the link, and get going!

♥ Sign up for my socials below, because there’s all sorts of interesting stuff coming down the pipe.

Michelle Cederberg, CSP, Health and Productivity Expert, Speaker, Coach & Author
CEP, CPCC, MKin, BA Psyc