Oh my g#%! my life sucks! It was early in the new millennium and I can remember thinking those words pretty much daily. I was working full time at a job that was no longer satisfying, I was building a part-time speaking business talking about life balance, stress management and health, and I’d let all three slide in my own life.
I was a personal trainer who had gained weight, I was stressed out, type A, hard to be around. I was unhappy. When my latest relationship with another mediocre mismatch came to a crashing halt I wrote myself a big old reality check. Why does this keep happening to me? I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m reasonably fit and attractive, I’m financially stable, I’m hard working … blah, blah, blah …
I had been qualifying myself with this list for years, and while it was all true, deep down I didn’t believe any of it … not really. I had to get to the core of why I didn’t value myself at a high enough level to push through the fog and chase the silver lining. I had to get to the root of my discontent and low self-esteem. In my mind I was a huge fraud. I was an unmotivated motivational speaker. I was an unhealthy health expert. I was a life balance strategist who had no life balance. No wonder my life sucked! I started to see a counselor.
Maybe things aren’t going the way you’d like them to in your own life? Maybe you’ve let your health slide or you’re overweight, perhaps you’re cash strapped or unfulfilled in your work, or you’re wondering why you can’t seem to stay in a relationship? Here’s a bit of tough love you may not want to hear.
If any part of your life sucks, it’s your fault. There. I said it. Own it, and do something about it.
- If you’re tired all the time it’s because you don’t take care of your body through proper sleep, hydration, and nutrition.
- If you have no luck with relationships it’s because you haven’t figured out the part you have been playing in all the failures.
- If you’re overweight it’s because you eat the wrong foods and you don’t exercise enough.
- If you’ve got no money it’s because you spend more than you make or you’re lousy at saving.
- If you’re not experiencing success in your career you could be focusing on the wrong things.
- If you’re unhappy … if your life sucks … it’s nobody’s fault but your own.
Ouch! If reading this stirs something in you or if you’re feeling frustrated or angry it may be a good thing! I’m not preaching this information from a self-righteous point of perfection. Not by a long shot. If I’m saying it it’s because I’ve lived every one of the scenarios above and the only way out for me was to hold up a great big mirror and ask myself; What is my part in this?
Once I chose to own my part in it, my life began to change. Oh, I fought it at first. It was very hard for me to admit that through all the challenges and struggles I had faced, I was the common denominator in every aspect of my life that sucked. Believe me, it’s hard for me to be so direct – and don’t worry, I intend to remain compassionate and willing to help as ever – but maybe the time has come to speak my truth a little louder at least some of the time?
Because on the flip side of that hard truth is the awareness you are also the common denominator in every aspect of your life that is great.
When I chose to acknowledge that truth I realized there was far more good going on in my life than bad, so why not ride that wave? The first step is to simply take responsibility for your life. 100%-no holds barred. Personal responsibility. Remember it. The only person you can change is yourself.
If you’re facing some big hurdles you only ever have two (viable) choices;
1) Change your circumstances
2) Change your attitude
There is a third choice but I don’t recommend it. You can do nothing and complain about how much your life sucks, but that won’t get you anything but more misery.
Yup, it’s hard work some days, but I guarantee if you start working at it change will come, and even if it’s slow, you’ll feel better simply because you’re taking action!
Face up to the changes you want to make. Set the ball rolling. Keep your eye on the things you’re already doing great and continue on with small steps. This loving kick in the butt was brought to you by someone who believes in the power of the human spirit. You can un-suck your life. I can help.
Financial stress, a health crisis, relationship challenges, a personal loss, a dangerous or traumatic situation…
What was your struggle and how did it make you feel? Somewhere in the middle of your struggle you may have reached a turning point that changed things for you. What was it and what did you do? How did your attitude or actions change the outcome for you? Email me here and let me know.
Your story may be used in my next book.
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Michelle Cederberg, CSP (Canada’s Newest Certified Speaking Professional)
MKin, BA Psyc, CEP
Helping people with full schedules and a long list of responsibilities maximize their personal energy.
Speaker, Consultant, Co-Active Coach, Author